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lozpony asked:

Aww, why'd you make tabby sad? You two were perfect together... And you know it.



I can’t be in a relationship right now

please be mindful of shoeless and tabby. Theyre both going through a rough time and its not any of our business what happened we need to respect them. If they want to talk about things theyll talk, but please dont badger them about what happened. Its easy to forget that the same mindfulness you use in real life also applies to on the internet, because behind the urls are actual people who it seems neither are going through a good time right now. And on that note, please, please dont send shoeless hate. I know a lot of you guys care about Tabby but sending hate would just be really crummy on you guys part, and no one deserves hate. Depression and mental health in general are very difficult to take care of and maintain a good mental health. Please just be mindful you guys, you can still show support for them but remember they are real people with real feelings. Also, Shoeless if on the off chance you read this I do hope youll feel better soon. Also, Im sorry for writing this on a reblog of a post response of yours, but I did want to get the word out to people and sending a message was a bit intimidating for me, but if youd like me to delete this just let me know and Ill do so.

It’s appreciated, thank you










Or, you know, you could just stop saying sorry.

I take it you don’t have anxiety.

You can’t “just stop saying sorry”. You do something, something so little, like accidentally bump into someone. You feel horrible about it. Your brain starts panicking and you have trouble trying to breathe. You stutter an apology. They say it’s okay, but you accidentally do it again, and you apologize again. They just say “Aha, you can stop saying sorry.” And you feel horrible that you’ve probably made them angry or upset, so you mutter out an apology for the third stupid time, and they just say to stop saying sorry. Stop saying sorry. 

You can’t just tell someone to stop saying you’re sorry.

I want that comment on flyers so I can hang them in my school

reblogging this one for the GOOD commentary.

If you’re going to tell someone to stop saying sorry say, “You don’t have to apologize to me.” and smile. If they say sorry again just say, “You’re fine.” and keep smiling and move on. The faster the situation is resolved the faster the person with anxiety can start to calm down. Please don’t get angry at someone for saying sorry, sometimes that’s all the person feels like they can do.

I’ve always been really bad about this and as a kid I’d always do it around my parents and my mom would always say “STOP SAYING YOURE SORRY.” thank you to the helpful comment.

What I wish some people would comprehend better is that, we just want to apologize because we think it’s a natural thing to do, but then you hear “Stop saying you’re sorry!” and you can feel anger in the voice. You feel bad because you realize you disappointed someone again for not being able to function properly, for having low self-esteem and confidence from your past experiences in life. You failed again, you made someone annoyed at you again when you meant no harm. You feel like shit again. It’s a vicious cycle. When you’re depressed and when you have anxiety, you’re in these vicious cycles, and it’s so hard to get out of them. Because people want to avoid you, because people gets easily annoyed by the way you are even though you try your hardest to be okay, to act like you’re okay so other people won’t feel bad being around you… But they’re mad, or upset and you end up feeling even guiltier than you already were. It’s a never ending cycle. And let me tell you, it takes a lot of mental strength and time to get out of this loop.

The Privilege and Power of Trans Manhood


Let me begin by saying that trans men face obstacles in life because they are trans, that is unavoidable. What is also unavoidable is that you will be privileged no matter what as a man if you are a trans man.

Over the last week I’ve seen a lot of people talk about having to be gendered correctly in regards to receiving male privilege. That’s looking at this entirely in the wrong way.

If you aren’t gendered as a man by others you may be denied certain privileges and that is a reality. You will be targeted like a woman for misogyny but you will also never experience misogyny as a woman does. You are literally incapable of having the same experience. This doesn’t mean that horrendous things can not be done to you however. What it does mean though is that because you are a man, and have always been a man you have always internalized the cultural soup of messages that we are bombarded with as a man. It may take some work to bring out what you have internalized because as trans people we create a disguise to try and blend in with our assigned genders for survival. That disguise comes about by others enforcing the patriarchy and attempting to make us be our birth designations. However that disguise is not who we really are, it’s not what is really inside of us.

So what does that really mean? What it means is that as a trans man when you hear messages like “don’t throw like a girl” you internalize the message that girl’s are inferior at throwing and you should not be like them. The effect of these internalizations should be apparent in how many trans men easily fall into line with sexism and misogyny. I highly doubt the trans men who enact misogyny are doing so consciously in an attempt to blend in with cis men as that would be so utterly malicious as to be true evil. No, they are just regurgitating what they have been taught about being a man. That fact is also that all of you do it. It’s not some trans men, it’s all trans men. You all think and do misogynistic things.

So what does this mean on a broader scale?

As men you have been socialized to try and dominate women and as part of that you enact and leverage misogyny along with transmisogyny. The ability to leverage these social institutions is part of your male privilege. That’s right, being able to wield misogyny and transmisogyny is part of your privilege. Even the most cis woman looking of trans men is still capable of being a transmisogynist and the closer you get to being gendered as a cis man the more access you will have to misogyny and the less you will be a mistaken target of misogyny. Do not get me wrong however, even trans men that are in transition are capable of dominating lesbian, feminist, women’s, and trans spaces because of the social capital that you are afforded for being a man.

[TW: rape]

A strong and disturbing example of this is the ability of trans men to rape and assault trans women and then leverage transmisogyny in the form of claiming to be “female socialized” to silence, and ostracize their victims.

A week prior to the time of writing this I witnessed a trans woman who was trying to talk about how trans men are capable of rape, be told by a trans man that she was the real rapist because of her “male socialization”. Then later in a discussion on this derailment (her being called the real rapist) while the trans women involved were rightfully calling the trans man a rape apologist for trying to defend trans men from being told that they are capable of rape,  a DFAB non binary person who wrote from a position of authority, that position being as a victim of sexual abuse and from being the assumed only one, told them to stop calling the trans man a rape apologist. She literally erased the fact that numerous women involved in the discussion were not only survivors themselves, but that a trans man had been their abuser. This silencing of the abuse that trans women receive is endemic.

[end TW]

Speaking of using the “female socialized” argument, it’s part of the ways in which trans women are excluded from women’s, feminist, and lesbian spaces. By claiming to be socialized as women trans men essentially degender themselves to remain in women’s spaces. This argument inherently creates the opposite notion that trans women were “socialized as men” and therefore do not belong. This argument also often allows trans men to leverage cis women against trans women.

As trans men you are socialized as men. You have male privilege. You may not be granted full access to that privilege but for example neither are feminine cis men. However your other marginalizations do not negate your privilege. Gay cis men try to leverage that same argument. I can’t even begin to describe how often I have seen gay men try to claim that they can’t be misogynists because they’re gay. It just doesn’t work like that. Your other marginalizations may deny you access to certain parts of your privileges but they don’t erase them.

This is what trans women are getting at when we talk about your transmisogyny and your male privilege. We aren’t engaging in transmisandry because that is literally impossible. We’re not being transphobic and if you think we are that means you don’t actually see us as trans. We’re not being misogynistic because you are not and have never been women. Just like you call out cis people for oppressing trans people we are calling you out for oppressing trans women as well as the social institution which allows you to do so.

(Source: bubbly-suffer-girl)


a guide directed for FTM transition was already posted, so I pulled up some old links I had bookmarked for dmab/transgender women to aid transition! 

sewing pattern for silicone bead forms
low budget diy breast forms [video] 
creating cleavage with bras [video] 
"illusion" cleavage with makeup [video] 

tucking and creating gaffe [video] 
tucking forum and thread 

wigs and hair
quality low budget wigs
cute hairstyles on pinterest
more cute short femme hair
hairstyle guide & beauty

tutorials for beginners
quality makeup for less money
choosing foundation
ask mod li about makeup

surgery & hrt guides 
surgery booklet 
hrt booklet

housing, crisis lines and help 
trans-friendly shelter guide
self harm & lgbtq support
stay safe! xoxo ♡ mod li

EDIT: It has been brought to my attention that susansplace can potentially have triggering material and users. Please proceed with caution.
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